The Fourteen MMG - Ballistic Calamity #1

There was a beginning, and in that moment, Pizza Consciousness Foam (PCF) billowed violently from the Ballistic landscape in a cloud of circles, triangles, and squares. Seismic energy traveled through the ground, shaking loose the ancient monolith from its subterranean internment. As the 14" Menu Monolith God (MMG) emerged from the rocks, dust and clay, casting its imposing shadow over the moonscape, a prophecy was fulfilled.

An electric pulse shot away from The Fourteen at supersonic speeds as the Galactic Pizza Portal sprang to life. The Essence of Nonnas (EON) flowed through the long-dormant infrastructure, activating ancient plumbing through which PCF would circulate, and GFP would appear.

Thus, it was written of the first emergence.

Meet our illustrator, Ed!

Unlike Pizza Boss, Ed is not bound to The Fourteen. He's a girl-Dad, an artist, musician and an accomplished animator who has worked with blue-chip brands like Cartoon Network, Coca-Cola, and Capital One. Ed has logged 1,275 hrs and counting hand-drawing everything you see in the Ballistic Universe. He enjoys freshly grated parm on his pizza and watching basketball. He's a proud Chicagoan transplanted to the South. Ed and Pizza Boss are the one-two punch behind Ballistic's creative.

The PIMs

PIMs work hard stabilizing the portal, but in their off-hours they’re surprisingly wholesome: long sauna breaks, overly competitive chess matches, and late-night video game marathons are all part of their routine. Chaos engineers by day, chill kings by night.

Monolith Mechs

MMs (Monolith Mechs) are PIM-built, PCF-charged vehicles assembled inside MMGs. PIMs fabricate their frames, infuse them with PCF, and dispatch them to transport energy, materials, and finished GFP orders. If you see one on the street, say hello!

FIN - the universe's most caring pizza alien!

FIN is the last hope of his dying home planet. Launched into the void by the Elders, he carries a single mission: locate a fresh source of PCF and ignite ’za-legendary-beacon, the cosmic alert that signals salvation. For now he orbits Ballistic, protecting the MMGs and honoring his mandate to deliver GFP to happy customers and ensure the GFP-01 Protocol is always protected. In exchange? The PIMs give him unlimited PCF Pizza at the Buffet.

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